Good Shit: Elizabeth Anne’s Purse N’ Boots

Sometimes being a woman kind of sucks (this is a shocker to all, I know). The life of a woman is not always a Shania Twain dance-fest (am I dating myself?); sometimes the fun aspects of being a girl (men’s shirts, short skirts) can be just plain inconvenient. Sure, it’s ridiculously fun to get all dolled up for a night out dancing with the girls, curling your hair while singing along to Top 40 songs, but then you get to the club and realize - motherfucker, now you have to carry around your super cute clutch all night, and even though it’s super cute, you really wish you had a freaking pocket or something to put your cell phone/lipstick/taser inside instead.

After all, how’s a girl supposed to show off her latest dance moves if she has one of those cumbersome purse wrist straps holding her down? If she’s with a willing male companion (or a woman who happens to be wearing a pocket-endowed getup, of course), she can force him to stretch out his pants’ pockets by loading him down with all her night-out essentials, but that’s just a lose-lose situation (he has to avoid snapping her credit card in half when he sits, and she has to confront the fact that she’s basically not a truly independent woman).

Thankfully, Elizabeth Anne LeGear, a 28-year old Canadian entrepreneur, came up with an ingenious solution that’s sure to make everyone quite content in this unfortunate weekend-night scenario: Purse N’ Shoes. Her idea was elegantly simple and oh-so-brilliant: she combined women’s two favorite accessories (purses and shoes) into one super stylish and comfortable package.

Elizabeth Anne’s gorgeous boots are comfortable enough to hit the dance floor in, yet cute enough to ensure more than one compliment per outing. My personal favorite is the Indian Princess style (can you tell I’m from the Southwest?):

The best part? No one would ever be able to tell that functional little pockets are built right into these boots’ interior structures to hold all the essentials. The shoes’ hidden pockets hold everything you could possibly decide you need when you go out for a night of fun: your iPhone, Blackberry, makeup, cash, ID, loose change, even your passport (you know, for when you plan to have a REALLY good night). While all your friends get their purses searched at the concert security checkpoints, you’ll waltz right on through (not that, you know, I condone sneaking in anything worth sneaking in…).

Shoes that are fashion-forward, comfortable, AND will let you bust out your killer “Gangnam Style” gallup like no one’s business? Now that’s good shit.

For more information, check out the Elizabeth Anne Shoes Website as well as their official Facebook page!

Good (?) Shit: The Boyfriend Pillow.

Ah, the single life. It’s tragic, it’s heartbreaking, it’s really freaking depressing. No one to snuggle with while you watch TV, no one to snuggle with while you’re sleeping, no one to snuggle with while you brush your teeth (is it possible for there to ever be too much snuggling?)… being alone can really get you down.

UNLESS you have one of these amazingly horrifying pillows Boyfriend Pillows from Deluxe Comfort:

It’s shaped like a man! Or, half a man, anyway. There’s an arm there. AND it’s wearing a shirt! A button-down, no less! What a guy.

See? Look how happy this model is:

Now she can pretend someone’s holding her while she masturbates!

And the pillow will never know any real competition, because if she ever brought home a real-life human male, he would take one look at this thing and say “HELL no.” No amount of promised promiscuity is worth getting involved with a chick with one of these.

But that’s okay, because he can go out and get himself one of these:

A Girlfriend Pillow! Only $29.95. Damn, check out the rack on that yellow-handed chick.

Replacing a real person with a pillow that will solidify your fate of never finding someone to love? That’s good (?) shit.

Good Shit: Pillow Talk.

Now, I may be biased because I’m in a long-distance relationship with a handsome sailor who’s currently on the other side of the world, which we all know is likely to make a person a little bit mentally and emotionally unstable, but I think this concept is fucking brilliant.

Scottish designer Joanna Montgomery, founder of Little Riot Ltd, created these pillows specifically for us lonely quasi-single sleepers to help us feel less alone at night.

Here’s how the site explains the “Pillow Talk” concept:

Each person has a ring sensor they wear to bed at night, and a flat fabric panel which slots inside their pillowcase. The ring wirelessly communicates with the other person’s pillow; when one person goes to bed, their lover’s pillow begins to glow softly to indicate their presence. Placing your head on the pillow allows you to hear the real-time heartbeat of your loved one.

The result is an intimate interaction between two lovers, regardless of the distance between them.

I mean, yes, it’s a little (okay, extremely) creepy, but when you haven’t even heard your loved one’s voice for months and months you’ll take what you can get, even if it’s a digital heartbeat and a pillow that glows like an incubating alien egg. It also doesn’t quite work for people who are SUPER long-distance, like me and my fiancé, since he basically goes to bed when I wake up, but it’d still be fun to play with.

The project is currently raising money to begin manufacturing, so head over to their website if you feel like throwing them a buck or two to make this innovative design a reality.

Good Shit: Ctrl-Alt-Delete Coffee Cups.

Hey, nerds gotta have fun, too, right?

These absolutely over-the-top but in a fun self-aware way coffee cups are from the site Think Geek that sells, you guessed it, random junk for nerds.

This set of three coffee cups looks exactly like giant keyboard keys, is dishwasher safe, and will make you the coolest guy at the office (where you probably make millions of dollars, if a product like this appeals to you).

Just like this guy: 

Come on. You know you want to be him. Just look at that kickin’ bracelet he’s rocking.

I think I was sold on these cups when I read the following segment of the product description:

Let’s look at your computer’s lifecycle. When your Windows computer is being a bit slow, when its memory is fragmented, when the threads of its normal execution become so tangled that it’s no longer considered useful, the one thing that will refresh it fully is the troika of buttons “Ctrl - Alt - Del.” Hitting those three buttons are designed to interrupt the computers processes, clearing out the memory, and recycling the system power.

Now, let’s look at your lifecycle. Mid-afternoons are the doldrums of your day. You’re less productive. You’re tired, your thoughts are fragmented, your productivity suffers. The one thing that refreshes you is the coffee break.

I mean… I’m sold. They make fighting with your infuriating old piece of machinery that just won’t fucking WORK sound like a process of spiritual cleansing. Ah, yes… the clarity that accompanies Ctrl+Alt+Delete… it’s what I think about when I meditate.

Coffee cups for nerds that are undeniably stupid and are touted as “Sophisticated Geek Barware” (not kidding) but are also kind of awesome? That’s good shit.

Good Shit: Monthly Gift Boxes

It all started, as so many things do, with my dog.

He is spoiled beyond belief, so when I saw a Groupon deal for Bark Box, I had to sign him up. Now, every month we receive a box of puppy goodies (including organic treats like from Max & Ruffy’s and eco-friendly toys of the high-end variety not found at chains like PetSmart) and it’s always more fun than Christmas. My pup and I dig through the presents together, and he usually consumes most, if not all, of the treats in one sitting before we start playing with his new favorite toy. The box only costs $17/month and provides endless fun - totally worth it.

Then, when I turned vegan, I got directed to the fantastic deal website Vegan Cuts, which sells vegan products at steeply discounted rates (which is HUGE, because a lot of vegan specialty items can really break the bank). Vegan Cuts just started featuring their own monthly subscription box, the Vegan Cuts Snack Box. I just got my first delivery yesterday, and got a bunch of little snack-sized testers of yummy vegan snacks I’d never seen before. I can’t wait to try The Simply Bar in particular. Their boxes are only $19/month.

These types of subscriptions seem to becoming all the rage, too, and they’re popping up everywhere. PopSugar just started offering their Must Have box, packed with full-sized products in beauty, fashion, home, fitness, and food. The value of each box is over $100, but it only costs $35/month. I might have to sign up soon…

Other new options include Klutch Club (8-12 healthy surprises for $18/month or less), Good-E-Box (all-natural skin and hair trial-sized samples for $16/month), Bestowed (health and lifestyle products picked by celebrity nutritionist and author Heather Bauer for $15/month or less), Panty By Post (a pair of sexy undies for $30/month or less), and Lost Crates (which has all sorts of options, including boxes of baking supplies or all eco-friendly products). (Thanks to Self magazine for these recommendations!)

And ALL of the subscriptions I mentioned ship for free, so you don’t have to worry about that pesky extra charge. Christmas multiple times, every month? That’s good shit.

Good Shit: Antidote Chocolate.

I am a chocolate snob. I like it organic, vegan, and as dark as possible. I get offended when offered a Hershey’s kiss or when I see chocolate advertised as being “dark” when it’s only got a 50% cocoa content. I absolutely must eat chocolate every single night before I go to bed or I won’t be able to sleep. In short, I’m serious about my sweets.

When I first heard about Antidote chocolate bars, I was skeptical. Their branding features such descriptive language as this: “Gaia’s (all of the bars are named after different Greek goddesses) nurturing spirit and natural harmony are the Antidote to stress and anxiety, restoring vitality and balance.” Eye roll.

But I was intrigued by the concept of raw, roasted cocoa, minimal added sugar, and organic ingredients in such inventive combinations as Ginger + Gooseberry, Lavender + Red Salt, and Mango + Juniper. So even though they’re pricey (buying a 12 pack will set you back $75.00 plus shipping), I sucked it up and bought some.

WORLD VIEW CHANGED.

I thought that the chocolate I used to eat was good. I thought I knew what quality was. I am ashamed to say that I was miserably incorrect.

Antidote chocolate bars will blow your mind. No, they’re not for the faint of heart (I have yet to try the 100% cocoa bars - I’m scared!), but true chocolate connoisseurs will never be happier.

Good Shit: Presto Air Popper.

Do you like popcorn? I LOVE popcorn. 

Unfortunately, popcorn is currently commonly labeled as a “BAD” food, associated with heavy helpings of salt and butter and whatever chemical crap is in the microwavable variety. It’s not good for you.

Or is it?

I believe that popcorn can be an indulgent, luxurious, delicious snack - while still being relatively good for you. It’s all made possible by taking the time to make your own. And with an air popper like this kind by Presto, the amount of time and effort required is actually pretty minimal.

A little while ago, I bought the Presto PopLite Air Popper (only $20 from Amazon!) in order to quit my addiction to those tasty little bags of Trader Joe’s microwaveable popcorn. I’d eat one a day, even though I knew I couldn’t trust whatever was inside - fat, sodium, cancer, whatever. And after my first taste of my homemade popcorn, I knew I could never go back.

The Presto machine pops corn in under 5 minutes, creating a giant bowl of goodness (Did I mention how much money you can save by making your own popcorn? You buy some corn kernals in bulk for like a buck and it lasts forever, as opposed to a $4 box of 3 bags of the microwaved variety.). I melted a small slab of butter, cranked a little sea salt over the bowl, and boom - I was happy. I actually preferred the corn almost plain, because it’s so sweet and roasted and GOOD. You don’t really need all that crap on top that masks its flavor - though I highly recommend sprinkling a little cayenne on top. Mmmm.

I tried some movie theater popcorn shortly after, which I used to love, and I absolutely hated it. It made me feel sick. It’s remarkable - my tastebuds really have changed!

Cheap, fast, delicious, good for you popcorn? That’s good shit.

Good Shit: SleepTracker Watches.

I discovered SleepTracker watches about two years ago, when I got really sick and tired of listening to the jarring ring tone I was using as an alarm on my iPhone. I hated getting woken up in the morning with such an abrasive jolt - one minute I was sleeping deeply, all peaceful and happy, and the next minute my phone was blaring and I was bolting upright and my heart was racing and I was scrambling to find the phone to turn it off and end the cacophony of noise.

Finally, I said fuck this and sought out a better way to wake up… and, remarkably, I found the answer! SleepTracker watches are amazing because they wake you up naturally, during the right time in your sleep cycle when you’ll be most alert. They look just like regular sports watches, but they aren’t - they’re magical. You set the time you have to wake up (the absolute last minute), and then you give the watch a time frame (the recommend amount is 20 minutes, the average time it takes to cycle through your sleep patterns when you’re close to waking). Then you choose whether you want the watch to wake you up via vibrations, an alarm tone, or both. Then you strap it on your wrist, climb in bed, and sleep. You can learn more about how exactly the watches work here.

I was amazed at how much better I felt when I first started using the SleepTracker - I would wake up when my body started stirring, and afterwards I felt a lot less groggy during the day. I wasn’t being ripped away from my dreams anymore. Of course, I got pissed the first time I set my watch for 6:30 and it woke me up at 6:10, but I didn’t really miss that extra 20 minutes of sleep - I still felt better than I would have with my old alarm. I only use the vibrator option, because I hate alarm noises (obviously), but the watch never fails to wake me. There’s even a Sleep button so you can snooze in, if you really want to.

Waking up in the morning at the right time to give you a spring in your step? That’s good shit.

Good Shit: Anti-Theft Plastic Bags.

I’ve never had my lunch stolen.  And I don’t really understand the logic behind anyone doing that, but then again I’m an extraordinarily picky eater and other people like to eat crap.  I have had my credit card information stolen like five times though by kids trying to buy video games, so I can relate to the neutering pain of being a theft victim.

So, if I were like Ross and I really wanted to protect my lunch from sticky-fingered coworkers (as featured in a particularly wonderful episode of “Friends” – “YOU ATE MY SANDWICH?!?!”), I would use these nifty anti-theft plastic bags in a heartbeat.  Some unsuspecting cheap bastard who’s scrounging through the office fridge for a free lunch would come across this and think, “Could this be leftover Thanksgiving turkey?!  All right!  I can’t – OH MY GOD GROSS!” and he’d throw the sandwich back into the fridge and starve.

Trick all those nasty burglars with these clever bags by the. (yes, the. is the company’s name – it’s brilliant).  I may have to buy some, just in case – you never know when you’ll become a victim of theft, after all.  Fake mold – that’s good shit.

Good Shit: Good Greens Bars.

I have been searching for years for a decent protein bar to help fuel my body after a hard workout or give me an energy-boost in the middle of the day.  I run frequently and need a good dose of daily protein, which is a little more difficult than usual since I’m vegetarian.  But all the most readily available protein bars are made with chemicals, shit, preservatives, more shit, and cancer.  And about a million grams of sugar.  Even the ones that you find at Whole Foods are really not very good for you or don’t have much to offer by way of protein at all.

But then.  My god.  I discovered the greatest bar in the entire world: Good Greens.

These bars pack 10-12 whopping grams of protein; are organic, gluten free, and vegan; have antioxidants, probiotics, and omega-3s; and, most importantly, they are so freaking delicious.  Read more about the bars’ super nutritional facts here.  They are, in a word, perfect.  I mean, they give you 100% of your daily fruit and vegetable requirements.  In a bar that’s more delicious than a candy bar (my personal favorite flavor is Wildberry).  What!

I have died and gone to heaven and everyone should eat these bad boys.  They’re good shit.  

Good Shit.

My nails are the most finicky sons of bitches I know.  They’re always getting dried and brittle, the cuticles peel up and break off into hangnails, and they generally have a yellow tint to them.  I attribute all of these ailments to the fact that I ALWAYS have them painted, which I know is shit for your nails, but who’s going to stop me?  NOBODY.

Which is why I thank the geniuses over at Burt’s Bees every time I reach for their glorious, luxurious Lemon Butter Cuticle Cream.

I’ve tried just about every nail cream I’ve encountered over my decade or so of nail-painting lust, and this stuff is by far the best.  It’s rich without being too greasy, it smells of happy, peppy lemons, and after slathering the stuff on my nails they look so young and healthy you’d think they belong to a baby (a baby with abnormally giant fingernail beds).  Plus a tin costs maybe $6 and lasts forever.

Turning back time with an all-natural cuticle cream?  That’s good shit.

Good Shit.

Are you a crazy dog owner?  Do you love your pooch more than your significant other, your kids, and your mother – combined?  Do you and Fido snuggle together in bed, feed each other dinner, and stare lovingly into each other’s eyes?

Then you need to outfit your home with some of these Dog Silhouette Pillows by ElsaBeta on Etsy.

She’s got many different popular doggy breeds to choose from, and you can even customize the pillows’ colors.  I may or may not have bought two of her Corgi pillows for my new couch.  They’re so cute I can’t stand to look at them.  And, not insignificantly, Corgi loves to snuggle next to me with his head resting on them. 

Pillows that make me AND my pup happy?  That’s some good shit.

Good Shit.

Whenever I cook and a recipe calls for freshly chopped herbs, I audibly groan and then mumble profanities while I go about chopping them.  I have a small herb garden on my balcony, so it’s not about the cost… it’s that I hate the act of chopping herbs so freaking much I usually hand the duty off to my boyfriend.  It’s messy, you have to chop forever to get them into small enough pieces, I don’t know.  I just hate it.

Which is why I got very excited when I heard about the Bistro Herb Chopper by Bodum.  It’s super easy to use, dishwasher safe, and chops herbs in a matter of seconds.  I just used it for the first time last night to cut up some cilantro, and it satisfied all my misgivings.  The thing is just freaking brilliant.

It’s slightly hard to assemble, which means you actually have to read the instruction manual that comes with it, but once you get the hang of it, it’s a breeze to use.  You’ll be a culinary wizard in no time (after you figure out what the fuck to do with sage).  

That’s good shit.

Good Shit.

Sun protection seems to be almost like the latest trend – everyone’s exclaiming ad nauseum how important it is to wear sunscreen every day, even if you’re only outside for like 10 minutes and never go tanning and have no history of cancer in your family yada yada yada.  But what I think is interesting, and incredibly frustrating, is that no one addresses the fact that it’s completely difficult to wear sunscreen every day.  It’s thick, oily, smells crappy, stains clothes… how the hell is that practical?

I still haven’t cracked the body-coverage part (it’s cool if you get sunspots on your arms, right?), but I have at least found one amazing product that will protect your face, which is exposed to the sun’s harmful rays constantly, even in the dead of winter.  It’s a facial lotion by Chanel with SPF 50 that is light, oil-free, fragrance-free, and overall just perfect.  Except for the fact that it costs $52.00 for a 1 oz bottle.  Yikes.  But listen: it lasts a really long time, and it’s so good for you that it’s worth it.  I swear.  And come on, it’s your face – you want it to look its best, right?  Plus if you get it from Nordstrom’s website, you don’t have to pay shipping!

Chanel UV Essential Multi-Protection Daily UV Care SPF 50.  It’s good (expensive, but good) shit.

Good Shit.

Décor Craft Inc.’s “I Am Not A Paper Cup…” is awesome for three reasons:

1. It’s economically friendly. 

Have you ever looked inside one of the trashcans at Starbucks?  There’s a whole lot of trash in there.  And I don’t want to hear no bullshit about how it’s 20% recycled cardboard or something.  There’s no substitute for something you can use over and over and over again.  A little water used to wash this cup is a lot less harmful than the gallons of water it takes to create new disposable paper mugs.

2. It has a clever name. 

I will fall for anything with a clever name.  It doesn’t even have to actually be at all funny – I will reward the effort.

3. It will save you money.

Coffee Bean will give you 30 cents off your order if you bring in your own cup.  Starbucks, being Starbucks, will only give you 10 cents off.  But hey, every little bit counts, right?  All you have to do is buy forty drinks and you’ll have earned a free coffee!  (I really hate Starbucks.)  Einstein Bagels and Dunkin Donuts also both offer steep discounts for bringing your own mug.  And hey, no matter where you go, it never hurts to ask!

That’s some good shit.